Nafisa grew up in Queens NY, got some sort of degree in Ethnic Studies and Political Economy, worked in youth organizing/nonprofit, then moved to Kolkata for a fellowship. Somehow she ended up in Atlanta, getting a masters in development practice. it’s raining in calcutta, and every minute of it is beautiful.
i spent a week in mumbai visiting my aunt in the hospital. i did a lot of reading, a lot of waiting, a lot of plotting on how to eat the cat in the cancer ward. there was a cat roaming the halls (this is terrible since patients are prone to infection, you’re not supposed to be near anyone without a face mask or hand sanitizer). Also got to hang out with angshuman and neel. what great people. ogh, some of my friends back home, i feel like are about to enter into themselves. do you know what i mean? folks getting into programmes, finishing their thesis, falling in love, getting real solid jobs, fellowships, finding places and making spaces. it’s beautiful. some of the folks i’ve met this past year i will be friends with for a long time. and since i didn’t see them change and grow up, when i look at them i kind of pedastalize them as a finished product. or when i look at a certain friend, i just see him in 20years time as an old man carrying a suitcase full of stories and art and accomplishments. i am suddenly seeing greatness in a lot of people around me. and i sense greatness in my friends back home. it’s wonderful. i was joking that i’m collecting a cohort. and this cohort will be ferociously talented and dynamic. it’s only a matter of time when we get together and create a bloody collective wave of work. that sentence ended badly. i felt this way two years ago and then it got tapped out of me like a wet towel. but i’m getting the feeling back in my fingers, my face, my body. i’m going to ride this building energy out the next two months. i’m planning to move into a place on my own to really work things out. i’m really excited to start again.
i have a little project brewing. and by little i mean one that will occupy my whole being for the next five or ten years. i feel bloody empowered some how. i’ll share it soon because its too fantastical to present it as is. i have to tame it a little and design the blueprints. the shift is… the SHIFT IS: I can do this on my own. Not as in self-righteous despot with an inferiority complex. I mean I am feeling really confident about seeing this through and I’ve had none of the familiar feelings of needing others to depend on and spread the safety net. I’m really into failing through and through until I accomplish this. to stand if you will.
God, enough of the vague motivational speaker lecture.
Silly me I left my laptop charger at work so whatever I type here is what it is and uncensored.
in a nutshell, i’ve finally had a little break through and see this perspective shift as long term. i’m inspired. by my family, cohort, calcutta and life after this. really, i am.
In case my parents are reading this, this means that I think I can finally go to graduate school with out complaints. Found a foot hole, and ready to charge forward.
